My wife, Jennifer, works at a major hospital rehabbing extended stay patients. She has developed a reputation for not just her technical skills in physical therapy but also for her ability and care of her patients at an emotional level. If you know my wife this comes to no surprise as she has a contagious smile, is funny at all the right times and will fight passionately when it comes to others well-being.
Jennifer had a special connection with one patient in particular. The patient, we’ll call her Sarah, had both legs and arms amputated just below the elbow and knee joint due to a flesh eating bacteria she caught as a soldier stationed in Iraq. In spite of this Sarah remained an overall positive person and from day one Sarah and Jennifer hit it off, spending much time together over the following months. For Sarah, some days were good and some days were not so good. Jennifer was with Sarah for her first prostatic fitting, her first wheel chair driving lesson and her first time walking since losing her legs. These were great days.
Over dinner, Jennifer was telling me about a conversation she had with Sarah that day. After all her progress and a release date nearing, Sarah was feeling kind of down. “I know I want to do something when I get out of here, but I don’t know what.” Sarah seemed to get more down on herself when thinking of how her Master’s degree in psychology, which she felt was worthless to her now. Hearing this, Jennifer did not give her a long ‘you can do anything’ speech or start naming professions known for hiring people with disabilities. Rather, she said exactly what Sarah needed to hear in that moment. “Remember that girl on Oprah that was so inspiring to you, be that person for someone else.” This lead to an ‘aha’ for Sarah and she is now pursuing a PhD in Clinical Psychology with aspirations to help people with disabilities better cope with some of the same struggles she has been going through herself.
When Jennifer told me what she said I was so impressed. ‘What great advice, I’m the professional coach, why couldn’t I think of that?’ I thought to myself. Modest as always, Jennifer shrugged it off as common sense and moved on to dessert. I’m not so sure it is as common as she is making it out to be. I know in my own coaching I often have to fight the urge to prescribe a solution, something like “just take two of these and you’ll be all better by morning.” The problem with this is that it is what I need at the time, my ego, not what my client really needs. They need to be invested in the solution, to find their own way, carve their own path. What Jennifer said brought about an emotion in Sarah, one of inspiration and inner power. Armed with this emotion Sarah was able to envision her future career.
Put more broadly, this is great advice for us all. Inspiration is just too good of a thing to keep for ourselves. So, think of someone in your own life that has inspired you…now be that person for someone else. -AA
